Spasm
by le fin
Summary: The death of a parent is one of the most terrible losses a person can face. When Hiei is robbed of the closest thing he has to a mother, he takes revenge on everyone he holds responsible...even his best friend. YAOI, HieiKurama and YomiKurama.
1. Prologue

Prologue

It had been raining for fourteen days.

Three months ago, the weather would not have been such a reason to worry. After all, Alaric endured many months of heavy showers during the wet season. The problem was that the wet season had already ended, and drops of water were pouring ceaselessly from the bloody heavens. The streams and lakes had become roaring monsters, and most of the crops had been washed away by the unexpected deluge.

The people of Alaric wondered what could be causing the storms. Most assumed that a water demon had decided to flood their land as a practical joke, and went about their business as usual. But anyone who had been inside the palace during the past month knew what was really causing the storms.

In the palace, the great hall was dark and almost completely empty. Occasionally, a boom of thunder would sound, and the accompanying flash would banish the shadows and unmask the three people who occupied the hall. One, a man dressed in a robe of black velvet, was seated on a large chair made of ebony and gold. Beside the throne stood a man in a pale blue gi, along with a small man with a large, deformed head.

Shigure frowned, looking at Hiei when the younger demon was revealed by the lightning. His face was smooth and had an almost elfin look, but it seemed oddly rigid, the mouth set grimly and the bloody red eyes focused on the door at the other end of the hall. A moment later, a loud knock pounded on the door. Hiei seemed to have been expecting it, because he did not so much as bat an eyelash at the sound.

"Hiei-sama?" a voice called.

"Enter," Hiei commanded. His tone was dark and cold.

The door creaked open, granting access to a few rays of pale green light as a young boy approached the three demons. He was dressed in a cream robe that matched his fair face, and his sandy brown hair tumbled over cerulean eyes.

"I have just heard it from a guard in the dungeons," the boy said, bowing deeply. "He confessed."

The expression on Hiei's face did not change.

"Have him brought to the top of North Tower," Hiei ordered calmly. "Bind him to the lightning rod and leave him."

"Hiei-sama, may I speak?" the boy asked, playing with the sleeves of his robe nervously. "The assassin calls himself Makoto. He says that he was hired by someone of great importance in Gandara."

"Did he," Hiei murmured. His red eyes dropped to the floor and clouded over, and he soon became contemplatively quiet, as he had done more and more frequently in the past few weeks. Shigure had seen that kind of silence before and knew that Hiei would not be speaking anymore.

"Someone from Gandara ordered the assassination?" Shigure asked sharply. "Did Makoto give us a name?"

"No, sir," the boy said, bowing to the general. "He says that his family would be hunted down and tortured if he says who it was."

"As it is, every nobleman in Gandara shall be facing torture!" the deformed man interjected. "The death of —"

Shigure made a shushing sound, and the three demons glanced at their unresponsive master. They drew closer together and lowered their voices.

"As I was saying," the man muttered to the other two demons. "Hiei-sama won't let anyone escape unscathed. No one save Yomi himself could match him now. He has become so powerful, it would be impossible to stop him."

"And he buried his hiruiseki with Mukuro's body, to be sure that she could rest in peace," Shigure added. "Without the ki of the hirui to keep him stable, there's no way to tell what he could do."

There was another moment of pause, and then the deformed man cleared his throat.

"You had best get Makoto to North Tower," he said to the boy. "You don't want to make Hiei-sama angry, do you?"

"What? Oh, yes. Thank you for your time." He bowed to Shigure and the deformed man before rushing to the other end of the hall. As soon as he closed the door, the three demons were cloaked in darkness.

_Author's Notes: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. There have been small changes in Togashi's story to make my story work, so consider this an alternate universe. One of the most notable changes will be explained next chapter. This story contains **YAOI**, **SHONEN-AI**, **SADISM**, and **LEMONY CONTENT**. Please leave now if you object to any of this. I accept constructive criticism, but NOT flames._


	2. Chapter One

Chapter One

Yomi could survive without the ability to see.

Over the course of a thousand years, he had learned to make use of his other senses. He had grown four more ears, arranged around his face like an elaborate headdress, so that he could hear such faint sounds as the beat of a human heart. He boasted a sharper sense of smell than many other demons, and he had such a keen awareness of the supernatural that he could See the outlines of people and objects that were saturated with energy.

Yet, despite these fantastic capabilities, Yomi longed to see. Whenever he breathed the fragrance of peppermint oil, he wondered about how it would gleam on pale skin. Whenever he stroked his hands through downy hair, he wondered if it was truly as red as everyone told him it was. Whenever he kissed soft, sweet lips, he wondered if they were as full and pink as he imagined.

Sighing, Yomi curled inward, his arms tautening around his mate. Kurama's body was bare and pressed to his own, and Yomi wanted to enjoy his mate in every way he could. He breathed deeply, running his hands over smooth flesh, and touched his mouth to Kurama's shoulder.

Even as he lay there, Yomi dimly registered that mating Kurama was probably not the smartest thing he had ever done. He hadn't been able to resist, though; hadn't been able to resist the earthy musk and fresh, fruity scent that clung to Kurama's body; hadn't been able to resist the softness of his hair and the velvety feel of his skin; hadn't been able to resist the warm, playful, sentimental aura that flowed through him.

Kurama murmured in his sleep, and Yomi kissed him on the shoulder again, praying that the fox would not wake for a few more hours. They had shared some of the sweetest moments he could possibly have imagined, but Kurama had been nearly insatiable. Frankly, Yomi was too exhausted to even get out of bed and clean up the mess they had made.

A sudden knock on the door brought Yomi out of his musing. Who had the nerve to knock on his door _now_? He had given clear orders that he and Kurama should be left in peace.

"Yomi-_sama_?" a voice suddenly came.

"What do you want?" Yomi asked in a commanding tone. He had to keep from waking Kurama, though, so he couldn't raise his voice too much. "I seem to remember saying that I was not to be bothered tonight."

"It's important, Yomi-_sama_. It concerns the situation in Alaric."

"Mmn?" Kurama murmured. He opened his eyes halfway. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, Kurama. Go back to sleep," Yomi said softly, leaving the bed. Kurama moved to follow, but Yomi placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down. "Stay. I'll be back in a minute."

Kurama seemed ready to protest, but he reconsidered after a moment. He then curled up and drew the blankets close to his chest, peering at Yomi through heavy eyelashes. Yomi nodded, donned the robe he had shed early in the evening, and loosely knotted the sash as he crossed the room.

The door opened a crack.

"Have you learned anything?" Yomi asked, keeping his voice low so that Kurama wouldn't hear.

"Not much, I'm afraid," the messenger said, bowing to the lord apologetically. "Our informants barely got back with as much information as we have."

"Well?"

"The weapons that were used by the assassin were thoroughly examined. They appeared to be standard kunai, but the edges were coated in some kind of poison. The poison destroys platelets, thus preventing the blood from clotting," the messenger informed him. "We attempted to trace this poison to its source, but were unsuccessful. The assassin...would not say a word about where the weapons he used came from."

Yomi cursed softly. Another dead end.

"And Hiei?" Yomi asked. "Does he have any idea about who could have arranged the assassination?"

"He had the assassin executed three days ago. There are no clues as to who arranged it, save for the poison on the kunai. The poison is rare, so only a few sects would have access to it."

"Hiei had him executed? Before finding out who hired him?"

"He refused to speak. Hiei must have decided it wasn't worth keeping him alive."

"Never assume anything," Yomi said. He frowned pensively. "Search every sect and find out which one the assassin belonged to. I want to know who hired him and why."

"Yes, Yomi-_sama_." The messenger swept another bow and hurried off.

Yomi closed the door, the corners of his mouth tugging downward thoughtfully. He crossed the room and approached the bed, where Kurama was curled up in a show of false docility.

"What was that all about?" Kurama asked. Yomi slowly unfastened the sash around his waist.

"It was nothing, Kurama."

"It didn't sound like nothing, Yomi. What's happening in Alaric?"

Yomi paused. Kurama's hearing was sharper than he had expected. He thought for a moment, shrugging off his robe.

"There was a transfer of power, nothing more," Yomi answered carefully.

"A transfer of power?" Kurama asked. He moved into a seated position as Yomi sat down on the bed. "From whom to whom?"

"Hiei assumed the throne. It was a few weeks ago."

"H-Hiei?"

Yomi frowned more deeply, sharp pangs of jealousy nagging at him. He wasn't sure how close Kurama had been to the Jaganshi, but it was clear that Kurama cared about him even now. Yomi could not help being possessive of his mate. Kurama belonged to _him_ and no one else.

"Yes, Hiei," Yomi said, more harshly than he intended. Kurama flinched, but Yomi could not bring himself to feel guilty. "He took the throne after Mukuro's death."

"Mukuro died?" Kurama asked, aghast. "How? She was so strong... Was she sick?"

"No. She was murdered."

Kurama clutched the bedclothes closer to himself, distressed by the news. A strange thought came to him after a moment, and he glanced up at Yomi with blank eyes.

"When were you going to tell me, Yomi?" Kurama asked sharply.

"I wasn't. It doesn't concern you."

"Doesn't concern me!" Kurama said, outraged. "The ruler of an entire third of Makai is murdered, and it doesn't concern me!"

"It doesn't," Yomi said firmly. "You don't live in Alaric, nor do any of your family or friends. It does not concern you."

"How dare you? Hiei is my best friend, how dare you say it doesn't concern me?"

"Is he your best friend, now? I was under the impression that you haven't spoken to him for three years!"

Kurama opened his mouth, eyes burning, but he closed it soon afterward. He kicked the blankets away and left the bed, though he had to clutch one of the bedposts to keep from losing his balance. Yomi, in his anger, took some sadistic pleasure in knowing that he had taken such a toll on Kurama.

"Good night, Yomi-_sama_," Kurama said coldly, grabbing his tunic and sash from the floor. The shirt and pants he had worn earlier had been reduced to tatters when Yomi had unclothed him, so he left the shredded rags where they were. "I'm going back to my own bed."

"Fine, do that!" Yomi yelled angrily. "You're still in love with him, aren't you, you whore!"

Kurama slammed the door behind him.

_Author's Notes: I still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. New chapter, yay. Next time we get back to Hiei, and the story gets darker from there. Not sure if I made it clear enough, but one of the differences between Togashi's story and mine is the fact that Yomi is, well, nailing Kurama. Don't think Togashi ever had THAT in his story. Read and review, please!_


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Kurama made his way down a long corridor, his bare feet padding across the carpet. The green brocade of his tunic covered his chest, offering some meager protection from the cold, but left his arms and legs completely exposed. He could feel the frosty air gnawing at his flesh and couldn't help shivering as he rubbed his arms with his hands.

He had never wanted to be home in Ningenkai so much.

His life in Makai wasn't bad. When he had wandered into the demon world three years ago, Yomi had tracked him down and brought him to Gandara. The lord had taken care of him and shown him compassion and understanding, and soon Kurama had allowed himself to be mated. He had been doted upon ever since, gifted every week with splendid clothes, sweet perfumes and fragrant oils from every country in Makai, and even a private tea garden in the back of the palace. Even Yomi's son had eagerly accepted him as a parent. All in all, it was what many would consider the perfect marriage.

But it was nights like this one that made Kurama want to run away from Gandara. This wasn't the first time he had angered Yomi; he remembered one occasion when he had woken his mate by crying Hiei's name in his sleep. Even now, months later, Yomi's response to the unpleasant awakening made Kurama shudder.

Kurama turned a corner, reaching the polished wooden door to his bedroom. He entered the room wordlessly, slowly loosening the clasps of his tunic and untying the knot of his sash. He folded the green cloth and placed it on the chair before approaching his bed, pulling back the satin covers and slipping under the sheets.

He was too awake now, too aware. Kurama turned his head and pressed his cheek to one of the pillows. For a while he tried to go to sleep, but it was no use. His body was trembling with distress and the echo of Yomi's angry words rang in his ears. He needed comfort. He needed...

A small sigh left his lips as he moved his hand down along his naked body and between his legs. His thighs were soft and slippery from the oil Yomi had used. He bit his lip delicately as he put his mate out of mind, turning instead to the person he secretly wanted.

"Hiei," Kurama whispered into the dark room. He closed his eyes and allowed memories to sneak out of his mind's closely guarded treasure chest. "Hiei."

Dark, untamed hair streaked with white that stood out in all directions. Sharp red eyes that gleamed with pride and cleverness. Firm, smooth lips to accent a handsome face. Clear skin that stretched over strong shoulders, a taut chest and belly, disappearing beneath black pants that needed four belts just so they wouldn't slide away from slender hips...

Kurama tipped his head back against the pillows, his cheeks flushed with shame and pleasure. His real memories of Hiei were soon joined by the heated dreams Kurama had been having since he'd met the Jaganshi.

"Hiei... Hiei... Oh, Hiei..."

There were times when Kurama knew that he was being selfish. Yomi was everything a person could want in a mate. _Why _couldn't Kurama be happy? Why couldn't he move on?

"O-oh...!"

And every time he asked himself these questions, he could come up with only one answer.

"_Hiei!_"

Kurama let out a cry, tossing his head back as he found relief from the ache of desire. Eventually his hand dropped away from his body, and he turned onto his side. The blush lingered on his face even as he began to drift off to sleep, smiling peacefully, his jealous mate forgotten.

No matter what, Hiei would always be the one he wanted most. It was inexplicable but true. Kurama had loved his best friend since he was fifteen, and he loved him still.


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Halfway across the world, lightning shattered the sky.

Shigure, who had been walking along a corridor with two of his officers, paused in his steps when he heard the loud crack of lightning. He looked out the window as the light around North Tower faded. The change from pure gold to impenetrable black had a certain aesthetic quality to it. The crisped corpse on top of the tower probably didn't share his sentiment, though. The corners of Shigure's mouth turned up in a grim smile.

Satisfied that justice had been served, Shigure continued on his way down the hall. The officers, a pair of reptilian demons whose forked tongues tended to flit out of their mouths whenever they spoke, promptly resumed their security report. Of course, Shigure was already aware of everything that happened in Alaric and only pretended to listen.

"There's been more damage from the floods to the south, sir," one of the officers was saying as they were bathed in the green glow of the entrance hall. "In the village of Kurogawa, the river rose to twenty-five feet and the bridge was swept away. Casualties include—"

"Enough," Shigure said, raising his hand to stem the flow of information.

They had reached a set of doors that were nearly twice as tall as Shigure. They tapered to a point at the top, and impossibly narrow lines of gold were etched into the black wood, creating detailed images of dragons feasting on an army of demons.

Shigure opened the doors and stepped inside the banquet hall, peering through the shadows that hung in every corner of the room. He approached the back of the hall, waiting for an objection from the young lord who sat in the throne, but none came.

"Finally sleeping, are you?" Shigure asked, leaning down to look.

Indeed, Hiei was sleeping. His head was bowed, his chin nestled in the dip of his collarbone, and his arms were wrapped about his knees. He looked so young and almost innocent that Shigure stopped to wonder if Hiei was really old enough to rule an entire country. He dismissed the thought quickly. It was best to assume that the lord had reached his hundred years and leave it at that.

Shigure carefully took up Hiei's sword from where it was propped against the base of the throne and hung the sheathed weapon on his own belt. He then moved toward Hiei and, as cautiously as he could, scooped the young lord into his arms.

Annoyance and disapproval sparked in Shigure's chest at the lightness of his burden. He knew that Hiei had not eaten, slept, or bathed since Mukuro's death, and while a human would have been overcome by such conditions weeks ago, demons were much more durable. Even so, Hiei's neglect of his own body had taken its toll. He couldn't weigh more a hundred pounds. Sleeping was a start, but Shigure was determined to get him to eat something. He would force feed him if necessary.

Breathing another sigh, Shigure drew Hiei close. It felt awkward at first, but he got used to it quickly enough. As Shigure watched, Hiei curled up comfortably and clenched one hand in the front of his pale blue robes.

"Ah, Lord Hiei," Shigure said mockingly. "Still the little _imigo_, aren't you."

Hiei mumbled something in his sleep that sounded suspiciously like "no." Shigure merely smirked and pulled Hiei closer, turning toward the open doors. Outside, the two officers looked at Hiei concernedly as Shigure approached.

"Is he okay?" the officers asked.

"Asleep," Shigure assured them both. "About time, too."

"He's not so scary when he's sleeping," one officer commented, peering at Hiei curiously.

"Quiet, he might hear you," hissed the other. "I'll bet you think he's scary when he sets the Kokuryuha on you."

Shigure chuckled, and the officers laughed in turn, their narrow tongues flicking in and out of their scaly mouths.

"Go around and make sure that no one disturbs his sleep," Shigure ordered, still smirking. "If anyone wakes him up before he's ready, that person will find his head on a pike."

"Yes sir," the two officers said in unison. They ran off, and Shigure began to walk, holding Hiei against his chest. He left the entrance hall and made his way to the other side of the fortress, where Hiei's suite was located. When he reached the door to the lord's bedchambers, Shigure had to move his burden to one arm and use the other to open the door. Once the door was open, Shigure shifted Hiei to both arms and stepped into the pitch blackness of the room.

Pitch blackness that, to Shigure's surprise, was not pitch blackness at all.

He glanced at the large window opposite the door, where the heavy drapes were thrown to either side. Moonlight shone like silver through the window, bathing the room in a pale blue glow. It seemed that the storms were dying down.

Shigure moved toward the bed. It was too large for Hiei, he noted absently. He remembered that Mukuro had done it on purpose, hoping that her successor would take the hint and choose a mate to fill the empty space. Shigure shook his head at the thought. Hiei would sooner bring his sword to bed than a person.

With one last, amused smile, Shigure leaned forward and lowered Hiei to the bed, carefully removing the long robe that covered the smaller demon's body. Hiei breathed out a sigh and rolled onto his side, curling up in a fetal position. Shigure stared down at him for another moment, his smirk giving way to an unreadable expression. His hand moved closer to Hiei's face. After a moment of hesitation, he brushed a few strands of hair away from the closed Jagan.

"Sleep well, my lord." He moved away from the bed, closing the door behind him and leaving Hiei to his dreams.

* * *

_It was so dark._

_Hiei ran through the blackness, trying to catch up to a glittering blue light in the distance. That light was his, he needed that light, it was the only thing that would make this darkness go away..._

_He couldn't stop running. He knew that if he stopped running for even a moment he would cease to exist. He could hear It behind him, snapping and writhing and rustling. He feverishly pretended that he could not hear what was behind him, could only see that shimmering blue light._

_The light took shape. First it was an aqua-haired woman in a pale kimono, and then it became a woman with red-gold hair. He knew that woman, but she looked different somehow. Of course, being chased by It, he had no time to wonder what could be different, only knew that she didn't look the way she usually did. She glanced over her shoulder with two whole, bright blue eyes, smiled at him with a whole, beautiful face. Around her neck was the glittering blue light, contained in a sphere that he knew he should recognize but didn't._

_Just as he was about to call for her to slow down, he tripped. He hadn't tripped over his own feet, and there was nothing in the deep emptiness that could have tripped him, but he fell all the same. He groaned in pain and raised his head just in time to see the beautiful woman and the blue light fade into the darkness._

_No! Hiei tried to yell, but his voice didn't come. And as soon as his salvation disappeared, he felt It on his feet, and ankles, and calves; clawing, scratching, tearing at his flesh. He screamed and sobbed as he rolled onto his back, kicking wildly at the shapeless blackness that threatened to devour him. It crept up his legs, and then he felt It creeping inside his wounds, opening them, bathing him in blood that was darker than black._

_Suddenly, there was a flare of white light and the blackness released him. He rolled onto his stomach again, crawling away from It, and he collapsed when he could go no further. To his surprise, his head did not fall on the empty blackness of the ground.  
_

_Hiei blinked rapidly, his breathing ragged. He had landed in someone's warm lap. He stared at the smooth golden cloth that pooled around the person's folded legs. Placing his hands on either side of those legs, he slowly pushed himself up and found himself staring into the face of what he thought must be an angel. That face was achingly beautiful, and it wore a gentle, comforting smile that made its face glow in the darkness.  
_

_He collapsed onto the angel and let it wrap its slender arms about him. As he sobbed helplessly, the angel rocked him back and forth and smoothed his hair back, comforting him. It felt so good—the way the angel gently rolled him onto his back, pressed a hand over his stomach, and oh that felt good—that hand moving over his belly, down to a part of his body that ached more than any other, and he needed this so badly..._

_Hiei mewled weakly, arching his back and moving his hips up to better feel that comforting touch. The angel fondled him gently, and Hiei felt shockwaves running through him. Soft lips pressed down onto his mouth, granting him a taste of some sweet, tangy fruit that he couldn't name, and then that mouth moved downward, to his neck, his chest, his stomach... He cried out, burying his hands in long red hair and desperately trying to push that mouth further down._

_The angel giggled, pressing its cheek to his clothed groin and rubbing against the hard mound there. The angel's beautiful green eyes peered up at him, never leaving his face as he panted softly. Hiei mewled again, pushing his hips upward once more, and the angel rubbed its mouth against his cloth-covered body. He felt his belts coming undone, his breeches sliding off his hips, and he cried out in pleasure at the sensation of warm lips against his bare flesh..._

_

* * *

_

Hiei groaned in his sleep and turned over, laying on his other side. The sheets were plastered to his sweat-soaked body; it was uncomfortable enough to pull him halfway out of unconsciousness. As soon as he became aware of the tightness of his breeches, he rolled out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom that adjoined the bedchamber.

He felt around for the shower stall, turning the tap and standing beneath the cold spray. It took a good ten minutes, but the freezing water that pounded on his flesh and soaked his breeches slowly brought Hiei out of his semiconscious state. He opened his eyes, watching the tiles spin before him. His lips trembled with need, and he could feel every inch of his skin burning. Unable to make his eyes focus, he closed them, only to find the image of the angel burned on the back of his eyelids. It made him want to scream and tear out his hair in frustration.

And, for the first time in weeks, his mind wandered away from Mukuro's death and began to clear.


	5. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Yomi strolled down the garden path with his folded arms hidden by the sleeves of his kimono. Anyone looking at his face would think that he was perfectly at ease. Anyone reading his aura would know that, in reality, his mind and emotions were in such chaos that he was too overwhelmed to show it.

_Kurama… I can never be good enough for you, can I?_

He had wanted Kurama for a very long time…he couldn't even remember a time when he _hadn_'t wanted him. He remembered how he had admired Youko Kurama when he was younger, for his cunning, his ambition, his cool determination_…_and his beauty. As a demon Kurama had taken many lovers, choosing handsome men to warm his bed and his blood at night. As a human, though, Kurama had made a great effort to preserve his chastity. He seemed to think that his human body was more precious than his demon one, and he refused to give it to anyone he didn't trust with all his heart. Ironically, it was Kurama's humanity that had made it possible for Yomi to claim him.

Kurama had been so vulnerable after what the human bitch did to him. Kurama had been desperate for support, for someone to hold him and tell him that everything was all right. Yomi, ever the clever demon, had provided comfort in order to win Kurama's loyalty. Yet even defenseless, Kurama had come out on top. Yomi had grown more and more attached to Kurama, while Kurama had saved his own feelings for Mukuro's brat.

_Not good enough for you back then… Even now, when you have been reduced to a mere human and I have become a king of demons, you won't have me._

He stopped beside one of the bushes, recognizing the scent instantly. Why did Kurama like roses so much, anyway? They were such impractical things! Many flowers smelled nicer than the rose, tasted sweeter, were hardier and longer-lived. They didn't even feel that good to the touch. Were roses really so beautiful that they could make up for such shortcomings?

"Father!" Footsteps, quick and light. Shura skidded to a stop in front of his father. "Father! Kurama is leaving!"

"I know," Yomi said. He closed a hand around one of the roses and pulled it from its bush, not showing any sign of pain when the thorns pricked him. _What is it that Kurama sees in roses…? They're just like any other flower. I'd even say they're inferior to other flowers…_

"Why are you just standing there? Aren't you going to stop him?" Shura demanded.

"He won't listen to me. He never listened to me."

"So you won't even try?"

"No. I will not." Yomi took the rose in his other hand, dislodging the thorns from his palm and fingers. The wounds stung. "If he wants to leave, that is his decision."

"But…"

"I said no. Say goodbye to him if you want, but Kurama is leaving and that's all there is to it."

Shura stared at him for a moment, eyes wide. Yomi had never actually seen his son, but he knew that Shura looked and acted just as he had when he was young. He knew the exact moment when Shura's wide eyes narrowed in a snarl, when they filled with angry tears.

"You're such a fool!" Shura shouted. He ran down the path and out of the garden. Yomi made no move to follow.

_Of course I am. I've always been a fool for Kurama…_

* * *

Chu lifted the trunk easily, loading it onto the rack behind the black carriage. Jin, who was hovering upside-down above him, secured the trunk with some cord.

"You really don't have to do this," Kurama murmured. He was dressed in one of Yomi's gifts, a black tunic with gold trim and an embroidery of red roses over the left breast. The tunic and its matching trousers were the only black garments he owned.

"Don't be silly, we can't very well send you off without a goodbye!" Jin rambled. He tied the last knot and flipped over in midair, scrubbing a hand through his wild red hair to get it back in place.

"Yes, it's the least we can do," Suzuki said, opening the door of the carriage. Shishiwakamaru flew in, dropped a small bag of gold into the hidden compartment, and flew out again to perch on Suzuki's shoulder.

"I dunno Kurama, are you sure you have to go? I mean no offense, but don't you think it's kind of stupid for you to leave just to chase after some guy?" Rinku asked, his arms folded behind his head. Touya, who was holding out a handful of feed to one of the horses, glanced over at Rinku composedly.

"Kurama has to do this. It's in his nature to follow his heart, and his heart is with Hiei."

Kurama blushed, unable to deny the statement. Jin, Chu, and Suzuki beamed; Shishiwakamaru gave a fanged little smile; Rinku rubbed his nose with his finger, awkward.

"I…" Kurama turned away and let out a breath, embarrassed. "I want to pay my respects to Mukuro."

"Come on Kurama, no need to be shy about it," Chu said heartily. "I mean, you guys have been close since all the way back at the first tournament…"

"Yeah, but you didn't know anything about it until Touya told you!"

Chu clocked Rinku on the head, and Rinku responded by chomping on his hand. While they tussled in the background and the other laughed, Jin placed a hand on Kurama's shoulder.

"You sure you don't want me an' Touya to come with you?" he asked.

"I can take care of myself," Kurama assured him. "There aren't that many S-class demons, and most of them are my friends."

Jin's ears twitched happily, but his smile disappeared when he felt a sad wind flowing from behind him. He turned, finding Shura standing in the open doorway. The look on the demon child's face was enough to silence Chu and Rinku.

"Kurama…" Kurama flinched. Shura never called him by his name. He had gotten a real kick out of calling Kurama "Mama" and asking him for sweets in front of important officials. "You aren't really going to leave, are you?"

"I'm afraid so," Kurama said.

"But why?" Shura asked. "Father has been good to you, hasn't he?"

"He's been very good to me."

"Then why do you have to leave? Is it…" Shura bowed his head slightly, and Kurama's eyes widened at the sudden shyness of the boy. "Is it because of me?"

"No!" Kurama gasped. He grabbed Shura's shoulders. "How can you even think that? Oh Shura…"

Shura suddenly launched himself into Kurama's arms.

"Mama, you can't leave!"

Kurama stared down at the boy in his arms, feeling his heart wrench. He needed to leave Yomi, he couldn't stay with him any longer…but Shura didn't deserve to be abandoned by the closest thing he had to a mother_._ Kurama had tried not to think about this because he had known it might be enough to make him stay. He had forced himself to think only of the fact that _he couldn't stay_. He couldn't endure being with Yomi—being forced into the role of a woman, put on a pedestal to be admired yet never truly loved._  
_

"Shura?" he said cautiously. The boy clutched at the front of his tunic and buried his face against his chest. "Shura, I'm not leaving because I don't like being here with you. I just… There's someone I need to…"

Shura raised his head and stared up at Kurama. Kurama couldn't help thinking it was a bad idea to say that he was in love with someone other than Yomi.

"I need to pay my respects to Mukuro," he said finally.

"You know about that?" Shura asked. "Father said you weren't supposed to know."

"Yes, well, your father prefers to keep me in the dark about a lot of things," Kurama said, barely keeping the bitterness from his tone. It seemed that everyone in Gandara had known about Mukuro's death before him. "Try to keep up with your studies while I'm away, won't you?"

"Yes," Shura said, nodding quickly. "And I'll look after your garden too."

Kurama smiled and hugged Shura.

"Thank you," Kurama murmured into his son's hair. They released each other after a minute, and Chu helped Kurama into the carriage.

Kurama glanced up, taking one last look at his home of three years. He felt an ache in his stomach when he saw his mate standing on the balcony, as if he could see the road below. Clasping a hand over his heart, Kurama closed his eyes and turned away, getting inside the carriage and closing the door behind him.

* * *

_Author's Notes: So, I finally updated. Has my writing gotten worse since my last update? Probably. The "woman on a pedestal" comment refers to a medieval view of the damsel who is admired for her beauty and purity but who doesn't have a mind of her own_…_like a doll, really.  
_


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